


The Rules

by roxyeisen



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxyeisen/pseuds/roxyeisen
Summary: A list of rules for the finale I wish I could have given CC prior to making next week's ep. Feel free to add your own!*Update: He broke 10 out of 12 of them. Sigh.





	The Rules

The word on the street is that we don’t trust CC with this finale. At all. In the least. It’s giving us the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. So I figured no one will mind if I alter the application of fanfic a little and present a list I think we can all mostly agree on. After all, these guidelines are the essence of any good fanfic. And who but the fanfic writers and the youtube videographers understand how the story of Mulder, Scully and William should be told?

If I were in the position to give CC rules for the finale: (IF this is really the end of everything - I’ve started suspecting GA’s declaration was a trick to add tension.)

1\. No cheesy voiceovers. If they have something to say, they have to say it, not poetically think it. 

2\. No political diatribe of any shape or form. We care about Mulder and Scully and William, not your personal feelings about politics.

3\. Mulder must confront his guilt and deal with it. He must be forced to tell her how he feels. Feel free to turn up the heat if he gives you a hard time.

4\. Scully must convince him that she doesn’t want another life, she only wants him. Under no circumstances is she allowed to run away this time. Feel free to turn up the heat if she gives you a hard time. Blow up the rest of her house, for example.

5\. It’s time to let them get married. It’s 18 years past time, actually. Do it for Scully’s mom. I’m sure it was her last dying wish.

6\. Realizing it is time for a sacrifice, I understand that a character should die. I only forbid ending the lives of Mulder, Scully or William. Feel free to put them in ultimate peril, but when it is all said and done, the family must survive, even if they are standing alone.

7\. Shippy flashbacks with a good MSR song will get you mega points.

8\. There must be at least one good, well-lit kiss. No exceptions. No Skinner nervously shifting six inches away. No baby squashed between them. No bees. No alternate universes. Embrace your inner shipper, Chris. We know you’re in there.

9\. Realizing that it is in keeping with X-Files to end on a cliffhanger, even if it is really the end, I give you permission. HOWEVER, the cliffhanger MUST be a positive one. Nobody dying. Nothing unsaid. Just some unexpected, wonderful surprise that will change their lives. (Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Ahem.)

10\. We must be allowed to see the three of them together as a family. After the peril is over. William is only 17 and he needs to be with his parents. Don’t make us get child services involved. 

11\. Oh, and NO MORE whispering in the ear. I know Mulder and Scully like to hide things from the audience, (It’s like they know we are listening…) but you’ve overused it. We get to hear everything this time. No secrets.

12\. MULDER MUST BE WILLIAM’S BIOLOGICAL FATHER. Make it so.

Free advice? Set it up so it can continue with William’s story. Let Mulder and Scully become the supporting roles as they live (together) happily ever after.

I feel a little bit like Mulder trying to make his third wish in Je Souhaite. Not to mention you only have 44 minutes to accomplish this. Good luck. You’re going to need it.

Feel free to leave your own additions in the comments!


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